Today I felt less stoned, except that there was an event that needs to be acknowledged and considered. While showering, the deck caught fire. I was so surprised to see flames on the porch, I couldn’t quite grasp that it was real and not just a reflection of flames in a mirror. (What??!) Would or could this have happened during a normal day without Phoenix Tears? Is my simple-mindedness, what I’m currently calling my “high” or “altered state,” disabling me from thinking and acting like a responsible adult?
When I shoveled the ashes out of the stove, they seemed cold. One had a sight spark to it, but it was a few hours since the fire had gone out, so I put them in the plastic bucket and sat it outside on the deck. When I came out of the shower an hour or so later, there were flames on the deck coming from the wool rug, the wooden deck itself, and the now-melted, plastic bucket.
I know. I know. My first mistake was putting ashes, cold or not, in a plastic bucket. it’s all I had, and finding a cheap metal bucket or something the right size, takes awhile. I’ve just started back into this fire-building lifestyle, and don’t have all of the accoutrements, yet, sorry. It was wet outside, I figured the rain would have put it out if there were any live coals.
But I was wrong. I had a nice thing going on out there on the deck, just outside the front door. I had a tall, white plastic bucket that I found in the wood shed. I used it for my recycling, which was easy to lift into the car, because it had a handle. That tall, white plastic bucket was sitting beside the small white plastic bucket with the ashes in it. When the small bucket began smoldering and caught fire, it soon spread to the big bucket. As soon as I got out of the shower, I started smelling a funny burning smell. That wood smells weird, is what I said to myself. But no, by now the two buckets had melted and burned down to almost nothing and a circle was burnt into the red boards of the deck.
I’ve asked Paul if he can fix it. We’ll see. Messing around with fire has been a real joy and pleasure these past two weeks. I’m knowledgeable and capable and do a pretty good job of building fires and keeping them going and keeping the house nice and toasty. But now I’ve started to imagine that this means I am untrustworthy around fire, and that I can’t be trusted to do the Phoenix Tears without being a danger to myself and/or others. It’s a good argument for having a husband, someone who is very dedicated or simply a best friend that’s willing to help out. There really isn’t anyone around I can ask or who has offered, but I can visualize this as if it has already happened. That’s a fun past-time. What a concept! Full-time people around full-time: brothers, cousins, nieces and nephews, lovers, friends, etc.